It was a beautiful day at Douglas Provincial Park, I had four hours before I started work for the day and I was craving sunshine before being cooped up in a little shack for 8 hours. I decided to not do my regular hike that day and go down another path towards the lake so I could see what it was like to tell the campers honestly what the best trails are. As I was walking I made sure to put my phone away, take the headphones out of my ears and try to engage all my senses with the thriving environment around me. I was not to sure where I was going or what was infront of me but I had this urge to explore. Prior to working at Douglas and becoming independent and unreliant on others, I would have turned around due to fears, especially the fear of unknowing. As I was walking down this path that many others have walked I was looking at the trees on either side of me, my urge for exploration growing stronger and stronger with every step and eye wander. After 10 minutes of hiking I felt the fear of not knowing start to make my stomach do a couple of flips, like usual. I hated this feeling, it made me feel weak, scared and almost as if I was my own worst enemy. Just as these thoughts started to creep up on me I looked to my left and there was a small clearing of trees in a path form, the grass was not pressed down from the weight of hikers feet. It had looked like it was left untouched for quite sometime. I closed my eyes standing at the entrance of this path and took in the smells and the sounds that came with my surroundings. I shook off the feelings of being unsure and began walking. As I began walking I got this feeling of comfort and security. This was a whole new feeling that I have never felt while I was alone before. I continued to walk and after a couple of minutes I came out of the trees onto a beautiful little beach that had no foot prints in the sand. I felt as though this little beach was mine, made for me to find on this adventure of self-discovery. I sat on this beach for quite a long time watching the little waves roll in, the canoes and kayaks go by, the feeling of sand between my toes and the sound of the birds singing away. I am very grateful for having this experience. In that short hike I overcame fear that I have felt since I was little but most importantly I felt as though I had learned so much from just taking time to appreciate the ecosystem around me.
Just like Robin Wall Kimmerer wrote in her story The Sound of Silverbells “Paying attention is a form of reciprocity with the living world, recieving the gifts with open eyes and open heart. My job was to just lead them into the presence and ready them to hear”(Kimmerer, 2013, p. 222). This quote connected with me and this experience because through stopping to pay attention and appreciate the living things around me I felt as though I recieved the gift of growth and forgivness within myself. Mother Nature or the universe had led me to that path and small beach just like Robin led her class into the presence. The universe was readying me to listen and take away from this experience in ways that were needed.
The picture I had drawn for my creative journal is based on this story that I have just shared. The creation of this art was pretty meditative for me as I sat quitely thinking of the last time I had felt truly connected to the environment. As I thought of this experience the smells of the trees , the feeling of the sand between my toes and the sun on my skin, the taste of the fresh air, and the the sight of birds flying through clear sky came rushing back to me. I felt as though the experience I was having right there in my living room was what I wanted to capture.